Happy birth-date, my sweet girls

Today, you two would have been two year olds. Two two year olds on a Tuesday!! Would we have had a birthday party that was tutu themed?? Would you guys have preferred dinosaurs over tutus? Would you have had a favorite show that we'd use as the theme? Would you guys love cake like mommy? Or would you want a pie, like daddy? Probably apple pie, huh? What would daddy and I get you for your birthday presents?  What kind of pictures of your party would I be taking? Would I be taking any at all?? What would your adorable little reactions have been while opening presents? What would you two have looked like? I dont doubt you would have looked an awful lot like me, but would you have daddy's eyes? I hoped you would. Would you have his nose? Would one of you be a mommy's girl, and the other a daddy's girl?? You both would have been daddy's girls, huh? I would have loved that. What would we have done after your party? After everything was picked up, everyone had left, and it was just the 4 of us again. I miss when it was the 4 of us. Would we have cuddled up and watched Land Before Time like I always imagined while I was pregnant with you? Would you have loved Disney as much as I do?

I don't  know. I'll never know.

My heart ache that I didn't get to do any of that for the two of you. It breaks my heart to know that these few questions, plus millions of other what if's, will linger in my mind for the rest of my life. My soul aches knowing there will always be parts of it missing, and I will spend forever wondering  who you would've been.

I miss you, Fiona Ryan.
I miss you, Eliza Kristine.
I love you, Fiona Ryan.
I love you, Eliza Kristine
Happy birth date, sweet girls💜💜

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